In honour of International Survivors of Suicide Loss Day by Aisha Sanusi
“Please reach out. Speak up. The worst thing you could do is to stay silent like I did for so many times years” Kelsey Elizabeth Oney
Survivor Day is the one day a year when people affected by suicide loss gather around the world at events in their local communities to find comfort and gain understanding as they share stories of healing and hope.
Every year, on November 20th, suicide loss survivors gather around the globe in small and large events while growing together in their grief journey. Whether the person is a suicide survivor or whether a friend or family member has lost someone to suicide or knows someone who has survived a suicide attempt; this awareness days sheds light on the individuals who are directly and indirectly affected by suicide.
According to World Health Organization(WHO), suicide is the 4th leading cause of death among people between the ages of 15 to 19. More than 700 000 people die due to suicide every year.
Suicide is one of the biggest cries for help from the depths of one soul. Based on the accounts of those who have attempted suicide and lived to tell about it, we know that the primary goal of suicide is not to end life, but to end pain. In other words, suicide is an end to an individual’s suffering but it can lead to a lifetime of pain and suffering for the survivor’s loved ones.
The reasons for suicide goes far and beyond any one or two causes however studies have shown that approximately 90 percent of individuals who die of suicide have a diagnosable mental health disorder. The most common mental health disorders associated with suicide include schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, substance abuse disorder, personality disorders, anxiety disorders, and depression.
Who is affected by suicide?
When someone dies by suicide, research shows that at least 6 people are intimately traumatized by death. Those who are directly affected include immediate family members, relatives, neighbors, friends, fellow students and/or co-workers. And because 90% of people who die by suicide have a psychological disorder, mental health clinicians are also included as a survivor of suicide loss.
Grieving after suicide loss
Losing a loved one by suicide can result in many unwanted emotions including shock, anger, guilt, despair, loneliness, and confusion. Family and friends are prone to feeling significant bewilderment about suicide. Why did this happen? How did I not see this coming? Overwhelming guilt about what they should have done more of or less of, become daily, haunting thoughts. Survivors of suicide loss often feel self-blame as if somehow they were responsible for their loved one’s suicide. Many also experience anger and rage against their loved one for abandoning or rejecting them, or disappointment that somehow they were not powerful enough, loved enough, or special enough to prevent the suicide.
Here are few things you can do that can make a difference
1. Recognize the warning signs.
2. Reach out and ask “ are you okay?”.
3. Listen and offer help.
4. Help your loved one make a safety plan.
5. Help them access the mental health care system.
We hope you found the above information helpful.
“A person never truly gets over a suicide loss. You get through it. Day by day. Sometimes its moment by moment.” -Holly Kohler
